Taxi Wisdom...

"Uncle, Geylang please."

"Wah, go Geylang do what? See PRC girls?"

"Haha.. no lah, just going for drinks." (Are you psychic?)

"I see i see, been waiting long for a taxi?"

"No, thanks to you, luckily you came out of the round-about empty!"

"Wah, you really lucky hor. But i don't understand some Singaporeans, rather stand there for hours but still don't want to pay $4 booking fee! Then when they finally get a taxi, they think they very proud"

"Erm..."

"Really, i've seen them, they rather wait and wait then pay that extra $4!"

"Really...."

"Business now very bad, (begins to take out money and count) tonight i .... (flip flip flip) i.... still haven't made enough to cover rent! So after this trip, just break even. Boring ah, maybe should just go Geylang and call chicken, Uncle one night don't cum cannot sleep. Just tell Uncle's wife that tonight no business, cannot even cover rent. Actually wives are the best, you don't have to pay them to screw them, try any pattern they also don't mind, after that they still look after the house and kids."

"Erm..." ( I pity Mrs. Taxi)

"You see, if Singaporeans are so stingy, how are they going to get world class service? Just like when Uncle go and call chicken that time, before anything happen Uncle will tip them, then they give Uncle best service, Uncle see other people bargain here bargain there, in the end for $10 less, the service they get from the chicken is reduced by more than that $10! In the end who happy?"

"Erm... yah..."

"Don't talk about being a developed country when you don't want to pay $4 booking fee lah, Uncle work overseas for more than 10 years, foreigners not like that one, they are very gracious. Uncle tell you, you don't see the PRC now like very backward like that, in a few years time. if Singaporeans the mind set don't change, we will be overtaken by them!"

"Erm... yah..."

"Your Geylang you want to go where?"

"Erm.. Lor XX, near the Dim Sum stall."

"Lor XX? Dim Sum? Got meh? Erm..... (refuse to turn when he should) Orh! Uncle know lah!"

"Yeah, should have turned just now, but never mind, you can turn here."

"Sure or not?!"

"Should be ok, we need to head towards the other numbered lanes."

"There got Dim Sum meh? I turn ah! You don't bluff Uncle."

"Won't won't. Already overshot, need to U-turn back."

"Aiya! You cheat Uncle ah."

"Haha.. no lah. Just ahead you can stop." (Fucka-you!)

"Orh! This Dim Sum ah! Don't say earlier?"

"Nevermind Uncle, how much?"

"Erm... $14.30!"

"Heres $15."

"Wah, so good, still got ..."

"Bye!" (Sound of slamming car door)