One Egg, One Kosong & One Teh'O Peng!
No, this post is not about my visit to a prata shop, instead it is about what i promised you people. For safety reasons, i will not mention names but i'm sure you people know who i'm talking about, especially after my ceaseless ranting about You-Know-What.
"Why the prata-themed title?" you may ask... Let me elaborate...
Question: "When you make prata, what do you do to it? "
Answer : "Flip! Or Peng in Hockkien."
Recently i got to know someone who can make all the Prata-Men at Jalan Kayu look like retards. His/her ability to "Peng Lai Peng Ker"(flip here flip there) is simply out of this world. One moment the emphasis is "Quantity! Come on people! More!", next day, "Accountability, people, you must be accountable!", next day, "Quality, i want quality, i don't care about numbers!". Hey i totally understand the importance of all 3 elements in the workplace so if you want them ALL, pay me $10k a month, if not, pick one and shut up.
Next is the something called the quota, the number of times it changes is simply scary and very demoralizing. The best way to describe it is (Ahem, here comes the vulgar), like Chee Bye kena DB, DB by the way is Detention Barracks, which is the Army's version of prison. In army when you do some Lan Chiao Dai Zhee like masterbate in toilet or what you will kena thrown into DB. The punishment inside is to carry the Nao Hia sandbag and Chee Bye run in circles like a cock-a-nathan.
Officer :"Eh Chee Bye, take the sandbag and fill it with sand!"
Detainee :"Sir, how much sand?"
Officer :"Up to you lah Chee Bye! Finish already run round the field!"
Detainee :"Sir, how many rounds?"
Officer :"Until i tell you to stop lah Chee Bye!"
The poor fucking detainee also blur like fuck, if he Kheng and put abit abit the sand only he sure kena Kan Kar Chng by the officer, if he put too much his back will break. If he run slowly to conserve energy he will Kum the officer's Lan Chiao, if run too fast he See. Talk about rocks and hard surfaces.
Best of all, after running for 50 rounds with a FULL sandbag, the officer tells the detainee that one day actually must run 100 rounds with half sandbag. So the other 50 rounds he bring over to tomorrow. Which means 150 rounds the next day! The detainee next day super Pia and while he was completing his 150th round, the officer use loudhailer to tell him that today his DB Buddy on MC and he must help his buddy run his 100 rounds. If cannot finish then bring over to next day, which means 300 rounds for 2 people. The officer then proceeds to tell the detainee that his buddy got 3 days MC. Understand what i'm trying to say?
My favourite part is, on top of all that, what he/she expects all of us to do can only be described as an ugly prostitute with STD who approaches customers for sex, naturally she will be refused right? But nevermind, after kena fucked (verbally of course) by the customer, she still dare to ask the customer if his friends would like to screw her! Piang eh! Vomit blood ah!
Someone pass me a tenderizer, cos i really need to tender...
"Why the prata-themed title?" you may ask... Let me elaborate...
Question: "When you make prata, what do you do to it? "
Answer : "Flip! Or Peng in Hockkien."
Recently i got to know someone who can make all the Prata-Men at Jalan Kayu look like retards. His/her ability to "Peng Lai Peng Ker"(flip here flip there) is simply out of this world. One moment the emphasis is "Quantity! Come on people! More!", next day, "Accountability, people, you must be accountable!", next day, "Quality, i want quality, i don't care about numbers!". Hey i totally understand the importance of all 3 elements in the workplace so if you want them ALL, pay me $10k a month, if not, pick one and shut up.
Next is the something called the quota, the number of times it changes is simply scary and very demoralizing. The best way to describe it is (Ahem, here comes the vulgar), like Chee Bye kena DB, DB by the way is Detention Barracks, which is the Army's version of prison. In army when you do some Lan Chiao Dai Zhee like masterbate in toilet or what you will kena thrown into DB. The punishment inside is to carry the Nao Hia sandbag and Chee Bye run in circles like a cock-a-nathan.
Officer :"Eh Chee Bye, take the sandbag and fill it with sand!"
Detainee :"Sir, how much sand?"
Officer :"Up to you lah Chee Bye! Finish already run round the field!"
Detainee :"Sir, how many rounds?"
Officer :"Until i tell you to stop lah Chee Bye!"
The poor fucking detainee also blur like fuck, if he Kheng and put abit abit the sand only he sure kena Kan Kar Chng by the officer, if he put too much his back will break. If he run slowly to conserve energy he will Kum the officer's Lan Chiao, if run too fast he See. Talk about rocks and hard surfaces.
Best of all, after running for 50 rounds with a FULL sandbag, the officer tells the detainee that one day actually must run 100 rounds with half sandbag. So the other 50 rounds he bring over to tomorrow. Which means 150 rounds the next day! The detainee next day super Pia and while he was completing his 150th round, the officer use loudhailer to tell him that today his DB Buddy on MC and he must help his buddy run his 100 rounds. If cannot finish then bring over to next day, which means 300 rounds for 2 people. The officer then proceeds to tell the detainee that his buddy got 3 days MC. Understand what i'm trying to say?
My favourite part is, on top of all that, what he/she expects all of us to do can only be described as an ugly prostitute with STD who approaches customers for sex, naturally she will be refused right? But nevermind, after kena fucked (verbally of course) by the customer, she still dare to ask the customer if his friends would like to screw her! Piang eh! Vomit blood ah!
Someone pass me a tenderizer, cos i really need to tender...
posted by Yapster at
Saturday, March 11, 2006
2 Comments:
lolz..GOOD one, u write well! I laugh like mad!
that's the curse of middle management, m'fren.
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