Why Think On The Bad Side?

I have always been a pessimist and i honestly don't remember the last time i was optimistic about something, and even if i was, the outcome would most probably have been rather bad.
More than half my life, i've been looking at the not-so-bright side, always expecting the worst, preparing for failure, waiting for the bomb to drop, disaster to strike. I've always believed in the thought that what can go wrong will go wrong, the toast would always land buttered side down, the hero would die first and the princess would marry the evil wizard.

The reason is simple, by being pessimistic, i'm always either correct or pleasantly surprised. And i love it when i'm right, even if it's about something bad. You see, over the years, i've developed this uncanny ability to predict "disasters", and they are sometimes so accurate that i surprise myself! Ask some of my closer friends and they will tell you. Nothing good comes out of my mouth, only bad predictions which have a decent accuracy rate, very decent.

Some people have tried to help me see the bright side of things, blaming my pessimism on my supposed "low self esteem".

"You lack confidence, that's why you always think on the bad side of things."

"Don't be bad lah, things would turn out for the better."

"Choy! Sway mouth!" Are some of the things that they say.

Spare me that crap please. You can take your "明天会更好", "Things can only get better", "The only way is up", "Don't worry be happy" theory and shove it up your You-know-what.
When you are down, it never rains, it pours my friend, and you can wallow in your pathetic pool of sorrow for all i care. So the best way to go is my way, protect yourself by being a pessimist, at least you can say "Hey, i saw that coming."

So for all you "Sunshine Folks" out there, i hope you have a good life and that disappointments or setbacks don't hit you too hard. If you need advice on any matter, remember one thing, "The Predictor" is IN.
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