Burgers and Fries

I'm sick, physically sick with a bad throat and my wisdom tooth is not helping. I missed the interview at HP because of that (Beng, my apologies). I'm also sick of the things that happened this crappy week. Wednesday in particular was a classic shitty day at work. Here's what happened.

Captain, for whatever reason, decided to challenge us again. She looked at Tueday's figures and decided that each of us should generate 3 leads before lunch. Pity no one reminded her that Tuesday's figures were a direct result of the "roll-over" from Monday, which was a holiday! Incoming calls and enquiries from the past 3 days (Saturday to Monday) were sitting in the email, waiting to be churned out.

No need to ask how many Yap generated before lunch, i'm sure you all would have guessed correctly, and said zero. Yep, a big fat blank space on the box beside my name on the white board. After lunch, i went back to the office and waited till 2pm to call what i would consider the most potential prospect on my list that day. By 2.15pm, Bingo, i've got him hooked. So off i went, lead in hand, with great relief, to the Captain's quarters to ask who i should forward the lead to. Of course i do not expect to be praised for generating a lead, for the simple fact that it is my job, but instead i was lectured for what was termed as doing, quote, "not our core business". Let me explain it to you using my favourite method.

(At a fast food joint)
Counter Boy: "Welcome to Assholes Dine Together, any of the set meals for you Sir?"

Customer: "Hm... i'l just have a regular fries, already ate something earlier."

Counter Boy: "Okay Sir. One regular fries!"

Boss: "Eh Counter Boy! Recently you all have been selling a lot of fries! Why no burgers? Fries is not our core business!"

Counter Boy: "Erm..." (Proceeds to suck his own thumb cos he got nothing to say)

I mean i know what i'm suppose to do, but when a prospect expresses his interest in a certain kind of product, wouldn't a normal salesperson zoom in on that particular area, and then try to cross-sell other products later? No? Yes? If the bugger wants fries then give him the fries right? If your fries are good, most probably he's going to come back for your burgers. Right? Wrong? Nevermind, we move on.

15 minutes, and one phonecall later, i got another prospect asking for fries. "Great" i thought to myself, "Another chance to get insulted for doing my job". I held on to the lead for a good 10 minutes, thinking whether i should just chuck it aside. But the desire to whore myself overcame me because i didn't want to end up with just ONE lead a day. So, Yap went to the Captain with a heavy heart.

Boss: "Fries again?"

Counter Boy: "Yeah, and he wants it now." (In his most innocent voice)

Boss: "What about burgers? Didn't you ask?"

Counter Boy: "I did, he didn't want any."

Boss: "Didn't you tell him that our burgers are the best in town? He'll surely want one!"

Counter Boy: "He told me he just wants fries, now."

Once again, prostitute Yap manages to get his intelligence insulted and his self-esteem shattered. Applause please. I was so disillusioned that i mistook one salesperson for the other and sent the lead to the wrong email address. Blur me also called the salesperson by the wrong name, and gave him the details while sending the email to a different address. After i was fucked once for sending it to the wrong salesperson, i was fucked again for redirecting the email to the correct salesperson because i didn't "keep someone in the loop". Imagine, being abused 3 times for generating 1 lead...

To put the cherry on top of the icing on top of the cake, the salesperson went and closed the deal. All within 4 hours of my phonecall! Prospect initially asked for 2 - 3 CCTV camera points to monitor his staff and over the phone, he came across as someone who was on a tight budget as he kept asking about the price. In the end, our dear friend signed for 6 CCTV camera points and a DVR recorder for almost $4,000! That's like adding salted insult to my injuries!

Up to date i generated 11 closed sales leads and made more than $15,000 IN PROFITS, NOT GROSS REVENUE, for the company. If insulting my abilities and intelligence isn't enough, it has also just been confirmed that i will not be getting the $550 ($50 x 11) in commission. Thus once again my dear readers, i would like to say, Kan Nin Lao Bu Eh Chao Chee Bye!