Friday, July 14, 2006

New Movie?

The Chinese legend of Hua Mulan centers on a woman who disguises herself as a man to take the place of her elderly father in the army. The story can be traced back to The Ballad of Mulan. The earliest accounts of the legend state that she lived during the Northern Wei dynasty (386–534).

Although Mulan is weak in comparison to her fellow soldiers, she works hard and soon becomes a respected part of her group, which is led by Captain Li Shang. She soon falls in love with him, and it seems he feels the same affections (Brokebackish?).

After Mulan "defeats" the Huns with her ingenious plan, Shang finds out that she is actually not a man (AFTER having affections for her/him), and kicks her out of the group. Before Mulan leaves the battlefield, she finds out that the Huns are actually alive and warns Shang and the emperor. Eventually, she ends up saving the kingdom, marrying Shang and living happily ever after.

20 years later...

Shang becomes emperor after the former ruler mysteriously dies after apparently sleeping on the famous "Bed of Nails" from the infamous Top 10 Punishments of China. He and Mulan have a daughter, which they affectionately named Princess Tulan, and life was peaceful apart from the occasional assissination attempts.

Now for the past 20 years, the Huns have been planning for revenge. One fine day, while out hunting in the backforest, Emperor Shang was ambushed and captured by the Huns. Mulan, determined to save her husband, prepares herself to infiltrate the enemy's camp to extricate her beloved source-of-endless-wealth.

M: "Tulan, I must go!"

T: "No Mother, it's too dangerous!"

M: "If I can outsmart them 20 years ago, I can do it again!"

T (Under her breath): "20 years ago imperial guards still wearing shorts..."

M: "What!?"

T: "Nothing Mother, let me go with you! We can call ourselves, 'The MuTu'!"

M: "No, you stay here and play with the eunuchs until I return with your Dad."

T: "But Ling GongGong has nothing for me to play with!"

M: "Oh shut up and help me get my armour on! Damn these used to fit the last time I wore them!"

After the preparations, Mulan rode out with her husband's buddy during their Basic Military Training days, General Xia (They were the famous Shang Xia Brothers, aka Up Down Brothers) to rescue the emperor. Unfortunately they lost their way midway through the journey. Now Tulan must set out to 1)Find Mummy, then 2)Rescue Daddy so that got more pocket-money.

T: "Stupid Mother lost her way, now I have to go save her ass, Advisor, get me the 2 best men we have!"

A: "Let me introduce you to the left and right hand man of your Father, the emperor. I bring before you, Captain Zuo and Captain Yew."

Z & Y: "Our respects to you!"

T: "Apparently both of your will fall for me and eventually I'l have to marry one of you if this crappy story ends the way everybody expects, so i suggest you two go work it out yourself who dies during this mission so I would have less of a headache!"

Z & Y: "Yes Princess!" (Turns to face each other...)

Z & Y: "Scissors Paper Stone! Scissors Paper Stone! Scissors Paper Stone!"

T: "Morons..."

And so, our heroine rides into the sunset in search of her missing Mother and General Xia, whom she suspects is her real Father. Will she succeed? Can they rescue Emperor Shang? Who is Tulan's real father?

(Movie trailer)

This summer... (Image of sun rising over the horizon)

Travel back in time to ancient China... (Scenes from inside the Forbidden City, shuffling feet of eunuchs and maidens, Shang sitting on throne, Mulan "shoot eyes" with Xia, etc.)

And experience the adventure... (Soldiers on horseback, riding thru the desert)

AGAIN! (Sword fighting, arrow shooting, more horseback riding etc.)

Mulan II : MAMA M.I.A. , Missing In Action



















Coming to a theatre near you!

2 Comments:

Blogger stinko said...

wtf...old man yap...ur imagination noes no bounds...respect~

4:16 pm  
Blogger -ruiiee- said...

ROBIN YAP. very cool. a local production. please approach mr. neo as promised. would love to see the show. hahahahahaha.. i still prefer her name to be similan. ^^

5:20 pm  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home