Dead, all dead

Owen Hart, Eddie "Latino Heat" Guerrero, Curt “Mr Perfect” Hennig, Andre "The Giant", Yokozuna, what do all these names have in common? Well, they were all professional wrestlers.

"So smartass, if there WERE wrestlers, what are they doing now?"

Well, basically, they are all dead. BUT i'm sure most of you would have known this. So here are some wrestlers whom unless you follow wrestling closely, would have thought they were still alive.

Surprise Number One : "British Bulldog" Davey Boy Smith

Died of : Excessive steroids use.

Interesting facts : Smith's middle name really was "Boy." When he was born, one of his parents mistook the "middle name" field for the "gender" field on his birth certificate. He was also the brother-in-law of the late Owen Hart.

Will be missed for : His running body slam, and his British accent, which i had a hard time trying to understand as an eleven year old.

Surprise Number Two : "Road Warrior Hawk" Michael Hegstrand

Died of : Alcohol, drugs and (surprise surprise) steroids.

Interesting facts : The name was taken from the film Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior, and the spiked shoulderpads which he and his tag team partner "Animal" wears were also modeled after the film.

Will be missed for : His signature "Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuaaaaaaah O Whhhhhat a Ruuuuuush."

Surprise Number Three : "Big Boss Man" Ray Traylor

Died of : Heart attack

Interesting facts : Traylor was actually a prison guard that moonlighted as a wrestler

Will be missed for : "You're gonna serve nothing but hard time!"

Surprise Number Four : "The Texas Tornado" Kerry Von Erich

Died of : Self inflicted gunshot to the chest

Interesting facts : He was the third brother in the Von Erich family to have committed suicide (Mike in 1987 and Chris in 1991).

Will be missed for : His ridiculous "Tornado Punch".

And last, but definitely not least, i present to you...

Saddam "The Butcher of Baghdad" Hussein Abd al-Majid al-Tikriti

Died of : Broken neck

Interesting facts : Saddam was personally responsible for mass deportations to Iran of Iraqi Shiites, the razing of the Kurdish towns of Zakho and Qala'at Diza, the hanging of 17 alleged "spies" in Liberation Square, the "disappearance" of 8,000 Kurds from the village of Barzan, the elimination of an estimated 7,000 Iraqi communists and countless other brazen acts of brutality that consolidated his power. Now to me, these achievements make even the meanest of wrestlers look like a hamster.

Will be missed for : Not applicable.

Oxymoron

ox·y·mo·ron
Rhetoric.
a figure of speech by which a locution produces an incongruous, seemingly self-contradictory effect, as in “cruel kindness” or “to make haste slowly.”

Some cool oxymorons i have come across...

1) Free Trade (Thanks Alvin)

2) Deafening Silence (Thanks Myself)

3) Virtual Reality (Thanks Phua Chu Kang)

4) Falsely True

5) Truly False

6) Bloodless Coup (This one can?)

7) Silent War

Please help me out...

Of Mice and Men...

"Clinging to each other in their loneliness and alienation, George and his simple-minded friend Lennie dream, as drifters will, of a place to call their own. But after they come to work on a ranch in the Salinas Valley their hopes, like "the best laid schemes o' mice an' men," begin to go awry."

I was wondering, if there ever was an Asian production of this classic by Mr. Steinbeck, who would be casted...

Well, here are my choices

George (small, quick, dark of face and eyes, restless) : Stephen Chow, chosen because he also happens to be the director.

Lennie (huge, shapeless, pale eyes, slow moving) : Guy-on-the-left, need i say more?

"Look Lennie! Flying rabbits!"

Candy (old swamper, missing one hand) : Wu Meng Da, chosen because he has to appear in ALL Stephen Chow movies.

"Psst.... Curley's wife is hot eh?"

Slim (jerkline skinner, local authority) : Louis Koo, chosen purely based on his skin tone... and he pulls in the broads.

"Here George, shoot the retard with THESE!"

Curley (Boss' son, short, once a welterweight boxer) : Eason Chan, chosen because he often spots a ridiculous head of curly hair. "My hand? Erm ... machine accident..."

Curley's wife (Class A Slut) : Bai Ling, chosen because the picture explains itself.

"Please can i go to YOUR ranch?"

And of course, not forgetting...

Mouse (Crushed by Lennie within 10 mins of the show) : Stuart (I'm better than Mickey) Little, chosen because... well... he a mouse.

"Great, another mouse role..."

Not forgetting the supporting roles...

Aunt Clara (Lennie's dead aunt) : Lydia Sum

Boss (owner of a ranch ) : Xie Xian

Crooks (negro stable buck) : Any Bollywood cross-over

Now we've got ourselves a star-studded cast, all we need is someone to translate the script into Chinese, pump in 100 million dollars and we've got ourselves a blockbuster!