The Knight, the Emperor and the Wheel of Fortune

This is what the Tarot Cards told me about my love life, or my complete lack of it.

Point 1: I admit i'm practical, overly so sometimes. Thus i apparently "passed" on many potential partners purely because of my practicality. Because i thought that eventually we wouldn't work out.

Point 2: I shouldn't be looking so "high up". If i'm a 4 or 5, i should stop trying my luck with the 7's or 8's. It messes with the natural selection system.

Point 3: I should be more generous. Not with my money, but with my affection.

It could be me, but i can't disagree with the readings, if i can call it that, of those 3 cards. The person who read it to me didn't know me, plus there was a specific order to the cards. There could be some truths which maybe i didn't want to face...

But of course it could all be a bunch of bull, especially point 2.

Go "F" yourself Doc!

Remember the old Chinese drama serial or movies. Especially the ones with a police or doctor theme? Well if you belong to MY generation (late late 70's), you would know what i'm talking about.

Now the problem with those shows back then was that they would always have this ultra-stereotypical scenario that goes like this...

Male lead is either a policeman or doctor.

If male lead is a policeman, he will be the renegade kind, beating up Ah Bengs for no apparent reason. Smokes heavily. Drinks beer from red unlabelled cans. Drives a Japanese car.

If male lead is a doctor, he would be the leading expert in his field, and ALWAYS considered to be the next head of the hospital. Social smoker. Drinks wine. Drives a European car.

Note: If there are 2 male leads, they must be brothers, the elder one who never study is the policeman while the younger brother who got lucky is the doctor. They have a strained relationship.

Female lead is usually the male lead's wife.

Female lead is confirm Kan-Pua-Si-Lang Chio. Usually a civil servant.

Male lead's Mother is the most naggy woman on the planet but yet surprisingly, her relationship with her daughter-in-law is a tad too healthy.

Both women love children.

Female lead gets pregnant.

Due to some extremely forseen circumstance, usually an accident, the pregnancy will be made complicated.

At this point in time, the situation will require the male lead to choose between his wife and his baby.

The super Chio wife who still wears light makeup while lying in the hospital bed, wants to sacrifice herself for her baby.

The male lead will for some inexplicable reason, respect her wishes, and end up with a baby and a dead wife.

Okay, snap back to reality here people. Is there even a hint of doubt in the first place? Touch wood but if this kind of thing were to happen to me, my reaction would be...

"I'm sorry Mr. Yapster, we can't save both of them, you have to decide between your wife or the baby."

"It's okay Doc, save my wife, and after you are done, please go fuck yourself!"

"W-what?!"

"Which part of Go-Fuck-Yourself you dont understand? Idiot."

Just Add Camera...

Unless you
1) have no Internet access, or
2) are blind, or
3) are just plain stupid, or
4) any combination of the above,

I'm sure you would have realised the enormous amounts of "Zi Pai" or "Self-Taken" photos that have been dumped on the Internet in recent times.

I really have nothing against self-confessed "Camera Bitches", especially if they are extremely good-looking but tell me something, why would anyone, in the right frame of mind, take erm... artistic photographs of themselves AND let the photos end up online?

Thus i realised to greatly reduce the mental capacity of ladies, just put a camera in their hands. Want more? Add a full length mirror. The results speak for themselves.

Advice for girls who always fall for the Assholes, then lament about it...

"Shut the fuck up!"

Taxi

"Eh, got watch NDP or not? Every year the parade same, Si Beah Sian hor?"

"Oh, i seldom watch, actually i was playing mahjong..."

"Wah so shiok ah? So never watch lah?"

"No i didn't."

"You know what they should do or not? Instead of every year the same, they should ask the Mini-stars all come down and do line dance or something! More fun mah, not every year sit there and never move. Show that they are enjoying themselves mah!"

"Haha. Maybe..."

"You know what? Why the PM never like hug the MM when he arrives at the stadium ah?"

"Huh?"

"Respect mah! At least let the Singaporean see that they are a loving family! Why don't all the Mini-stars hold their families' hands when they sing the national songs? Best, hold their families' hands when they come into the stadium mah! Show that they are not Atas!"

"Erm.... Maybe..."

"I don't know lah, but we must respect the Old Man, without him you don't have all your expressway run here run there like Singapore today! All our economy so stable and got jobs. I mean i didn't support* the Old Man but i respect him!"

"Yeah, i agree."

"But then ah, i think the NDP they must have something different lah, like karaoke lor!"

"Haha, huh?"

"You know, PM one song, MM one song, any language also can lah! After that all sing together, shiok what!"

"Haha, maybe maybe."

"Yeah, so the President won't be so Sian, you see he sit there alone, so boring!"

"Hm... Quite true, comes late leaves early somemore."

"Haha, correct! Come late leave early. Ask him to join in mah! More fun! At least something different mah. If they let me organise NDP, i tell you, i sure do different one!"

"Haha, i also say."